Living in Binaries

Empty minded staring at my computer screen, the beautiful blue flowers are absolutely still in time. They are blooming in a perfect way, in the sun, giving me the unforgetable smile.

Slowly everything is blurred again. Yes, I know this is the third time I couldn’t be myself, gravity acts specially strong on my tears today, the more I try to hold them, the quicker they are pulled down.

“Take them, take as much as you want, you ruthless bastard!”

The deformed blue flowers start laughing at my weakness, my stupidity. For the first time in my life, I feel like such a coward, being laughed but not having the slightest strength to tighten my fists. The shaking fingers can only try their best to beg the cursor to crawl forward.

“Why are you doing this to her? How could you be happily up there enjoying your immortality, while having this terrible curse on your angel?”

He refuses to answer, not even bothered to give a sign.

She is an angel, and was sent to bring happiness to the people. God loves her so much and couldn’t live long without her, so he made sure that she would come back to him. So many of us need happiness in our lives, and we are arranged to meet her. She doesn’t know why, but she tirelessly carries out her duty – lighting up every dark corner of our soul.

I found out the secret about her, and as a mortal I could not stop wanting to have her forever with us. But God, this selfish God wouldn’t listen to my crying, wouldn’t see my wet sleeves, wouldn’t care my bleeding heart.

If only I could use my seconds to keep her time going, if only I could use my tears to keep her eyes shining, if only I could use my life to keep her heart beating, I would give anything in this world.